


A New Beginning

by bitriple



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: Angst, Baz Appreciation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-02-08 20:18:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12872226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitriple/pseuds/bitriple
Summary: A few days after Baz's death, Red pays someone a visit. Written for the Baz appreciation day that was yesterday on tumblr.





	A New Beginning

Red had made many visits like this over the years.

As much as he planned for every possibility, making contingency plans for his contingencies, always five steps ahead of his adversaries, things often went wrong. It was just a part of the job, and every man or woman who worked for him were well aware of the consequences that came with this life. Danger followed wherever Raymond Reddington went and never in his life had it gotten so bad as with _Kate_.

Of all the regrets he had in life, pulling that trigger was one of his most sincere. And even though her body had disappeared into the waters only days before Red knew that the fallout of Kate would be something that would follow him for years, if it didn't end him altogether.

He eased on the breaks of the car, borrowed from Dembe, and slid to a stop in front of the house. It was modestly sized, but quaint- painted a cheery yellow with a small garden wrapping around the front, violet flowers glowing in the fading light. He stared at the house for a long moment, before he shook himself. He had let her wait in silence for long enough.

Red grabbed the suitcase beside him and slipped on his fedora. His shoes scuffed against the pavement as he made his way up the short driveway, pausing in front of the front door. Red's grip tightened on the suitcase and he took in a deep breath.

The knock echoed through the house and the noise behind it was instant- padded footsteps rapidly approaching. The door was launched open and Red saw the wide eyes on the other side crumple with disappointment and then widen in recognition. He saw the horror fill them at the crushing realization.

"Lauren I-"

"No." It came out as a wail as Lauren crumpled in on herself, her weight falling against the doorframe as if she couldn't hold herself up anymore. "Please tell me he's okay that-"

The expression on Red's face told her enough and Red barely had time to reach forward before her legs were crumpling beneath her. He held her up and pulled her close to his body, maneuvering them so he could slip the door shut behind them. As soon as the click sounded he slumped back against it, wrapping his arms tighter around Lauren. The sobs wracked her small frame and Red could feel the warmth of the tears soaking into his shirt.

"Baz died protecting someone who is very dear to me," he murmured softly, the words thick in his throat. "And for that he has my eternal gratitude." There was so much more that Red wanted to say. He wanted to sit Lauren down and tell her the tale of betrayal and blood that led them down this path. That ultimately, the death of Baz and Kate and so many more were on _his hands_ and he had no right to even breathe the same air of the daughter that Baz had always loved more than anything. He wanted to get down on his knees and beg for forgiveness, but the words died in his throat. They would not give Lauren any closure, and he deserved the weight of them.

It was many minutes before Lauren pulled away. She took in a shuddering breath and wiped a hand over her face, the deep shadows already there making Red's stomach lurch. "I knew rationally that every day he was in danger, but it never seemed... I never thought..." More tears spilled down her cheeks. "And then the past three days passed and he didn't call; he _always_ calls me at night and I knew something must be wrong, but I couldn't bare to think that he was de-" Her voice cracked and she let it trail off.

The weight between them was suffocating. The staggering loss in her words were far too familiar and Red was failing to keep his thoughts from wandering to what he had lost that day- a friend, one of the few people he trusted with his life, a good man who he knew would do anything to keep him and those he held dear safe. And now that he was gone it was Red's turn to repay the favor.

He reached down to the suitcase sitting on the floor and let Lauren lead him to the kitchen, her breath still hitching in her throat, her eyes watery even though the tears had faded. "You will be well provided for," he said as he flipped it open, the words sounding hollow even to his own ears. He knew that no amount of money would make up for what Lauren had lost.

Even though Red heard the gasp at the stacks of bills tied in neat bundles filling the suitcase, he hardly glanced at the money, the last of the funds from liquidating his remaining properties, instead grasping the small envelope in the corner. The word "Lauren" was written in the cramped scrawl he was used to reading on drafts of operation plans. "He wanted you to have this."

Lauren stared at the letter for a long moment, her hands trembling. "I don't know if I can-" she started at the same time Red said, "You don't have to read it now." Lauren smiled gratefully and placed the letter on the table between them, letting out another shaky breath.

"Thank you. For this." She waved her hand over the table, her eyes flicking back to the money. Red had paid his employees well, and this along with the sizeable inheritance he knew awaited her would be more than enough to put her into an early retirement.

"It was the least I could do," Red replied, his voice heavy with sincerity. He pulled a small card from his pocket, the last thing he had come here to do, and placed it on the table next to the letter. "If you ever need anything, ask for Mr. Greenway." Then he tipped his head, giving one last tightlipped smile to Lauren, and slipped back outside.

The call came that night, far too late to be anything good. Red nearly shattered his scotch in his haste to place it back on the table when he recognized the number. "Lauren," he breathed out. "What's wrong?"

There was the sound of breathing on the other side of the phone and Red was already up, his head spinning as he thought about which one of his men would be the closest at this time of night and how long Lauren had to hold on for them to reach her when she spoke. "He wrote about you, in the letter."

Red sucked in a sharp breath. He stumbled backwards, collapsing into the chair hard, unable to speak through the sudden lump in his throat.

Lauren continued, "He wanted to thank you. When he came back from the war he wasn't in a good place. And you gave him purpose again, something to strive for." Red couldn't breathe. "I haven't always agreed with the work you do but... but I think my dad needed it. You helped him through one of his darkest times and if it wasn't for you I probably wouldn't even _be_ here."

Red's chest ached with the guilt so heavy it felt like it was choking the air from his lungs, slowly killing him. "Your father was a good man." His voice was as choked and ragged as Lauren's. "I am deeply sorry that the oversights I made led to his death."

"He knew the moment he joined you that his life was in danger," Lauren said, the vehemence in her voice surprising Red. "And he knew there was no other place he wanted to be."

Red was speechless. He sat there for a long moment just listening to the breathing on the other side of the phone, the forgiveness from the daughter of the man he had killed making something inside him _break_. "Take care of yourself, alright?" Lauren finally said, breaking the silence between them.

"You too." The words had barely finished before the line clicked off. Red let it fall to his side and pressed his trembling hands against his legs. Minutes passed before the shaking had subsided enough so he could pick up his glass once more. In the darkness of the shitty motel room, with nothing but his own mind for company, he raised the glass to the air. "May you rest in peace, my friend." He drained the rest in a single gulp and rose to his feet.

It was time to rebuild his empire. And despite the pain the last few months had brought, Red knew he would rise again. He owed it to the people he had lost, he owed it to _Baz_ for saving the one person he couldn't live without. Red let a smile break over his face as his mind buzzed over the new possibilities, people and opportunities he had been planning for since the moment it became apparent his business was under attack. They could never replace the ones he had lost, but it was time to move forward. Red picked up his phone.


End file.
